It was mid November of 2000 and we were struggling to make ends meet. We just found out we were hired for a new church position out of state, we were packing, we were moving, we were leaving our friends and home, we were on cobra health insurance, we had a 15 month old, and God in His infinite power and generous love blessed us with a pregnancy. We were in denial because it was not a good time but very excited about another baby. I tried to ignore the morning sickness as if that would make it not real. The morning sickness got worse and I knew I couldn't ignore it any longer....I was already 6 weeks along by the time I took a test.
We packed, we moved and I threw up. I drove myself all the way, through 3 states and was sick the whole way. I cried. I didn't want to be sick and I didn't want to move. I cried upon reaching our new town. It has smells I wasn't keen on (cows and a sugar beet factor), it looked so small (I was used to huge cities), and I was so sick and homesick already. We bought a house, we moved in, and I continued to throw up. I laid on the floor half awake and terribly sick for many months while my little one played nearby and crawled over me occasionally. I missed my friends, I was without a phone (lived too far out for the phone company to get a phone line to us for a few months), I was without a car (I don't know where I would have gone if I had one), and well, I was miserable. I lost 13 pounds and was too sick to even look for a doctor. Finally, I got the strength to look up doctors and I dragged myself to my first appointment already 4 months along. Hurray, the pregnancy seemed to be healthy. I went home to throw up some more and sleep. Surely the morning sickness would pass soon.....
Six months along and still throwing up. Throwing up almost every day still. I wondered if the morning sickness would ever go away. But then contractions started. It was the weekend and the contractions were lasting 1 min. and were 1 min. apart. I decided that going to the ER was not necessary and I laid on the sofa hoping they would go away. They went away but every time I got up they came back. I went to the doctor on Monday and got reprimanded for not going to the ER over the weekend. I was put on bed rest and I kept throwing up. Bed rest went something like this....I laid down on the sofa whenever I wasn't lifting my 20 month old into or out of his highchair or crib, whenever I wasn't cleaning the house, making dinner, or if the contractions got really bad. See, I did bed rest.
Eight months and still sick- throwing up and trying every morning sickness remedy in the books and on the internet. I was taking a prescription for it that didn't help either. Getting really uncomfortable now, can't sleep, can't sit, can't stand...the baby is actually hurting me...my belly hurts. Something must be wrong.
Turns out, no pun intended, that the baby was transfers....as in sideways. Ya, babies aren't supposed to fit that way. Head up or head down but not head and feet sideways. That hurts. I cried more, I hurt everywhere. I hurt standing, I hurt sitting, I hurt breathing, I hurt, I hurt, I hurt. Oh, and still sick and throwing up. Doctor says I'll have to go in to get baby turned. I heard that hurts bad. Oh Lord, please make this baby turn...I'm so miserable. In 3 weeks I'll go get turned. Still throwing up.
Night before turning, I'm laying in bed and am in excruciating pain. Something is really wrong this time. I'm in agony and crying. My belly feels like it's going to rip open. I'm trying not to hyperventilate. Finally it subsides and I feel a bit better. Go for turning appointment in the morning. Ultra-sound tech puts doppler on my belly and announces that the baby has turned by itself....."uh duh, I think I know when that happened" I think to myself. Ultra-sound tech says "do you want to know what it is?!"
Me- "No thank you, we like to wait to be surprised with our pregnancies."
Tech- "Oh, okay, cause I can really tell what it is!!!!!"
to myself- well, then, it must be another boy if it's that easy to tell.....
Due July 17th, 2001. Figured I'd have the baby early since I was having trouble with going into labor early and on "bed rest". July 17th came and went. What? I'm going over due again! Not fair. Still throwing up.
July 18th ....contractions are getting worse and worse. It's 7pm and I'm thinking this might be labor. But, I'm tired so I'll go to bed. 1pm I'm sure this is it...head to the hospital.
Check in at the hospital. Nurse says "no you're not in labor, your contractions aren't regular enough".
Me- "But this is really painful, I know I'm in labor, I've labored before and I'm over due."
Nurse- "But we've tried to check you and we can't because you have a posterior cervix...so we can't tell if you are dilated or not."
Me- "But I've been in labor before and I know I'm in labor!"
Nurse- "No, you're not in labor silly pregnant crazy lady, go home and take this sleeping pill."
Me- "But I don't want a sleeping pill, I'm IN LABOR!"
More crying on the way home.
Get home and take pill. No sleep....just contractions. Contractions never get regular but are totally sporadic but getting more intense. Husband happily sleeps beside me...this is the best labor he's ever been through. I keep getting up to go sit in the shower and believe it or not, I'm still throwing up. Who knew I'd throw up from 6 weeks pregnant on through to labor.
July 19th- 7am.... I'm saying things like "if this isn't labor then I need a c-section cause I can't do this anymore". I'm crying, I can't walk now. My mom was over to watch Jon in case we needed to go back to the hospital. My mom helps me out of the shower and gets me back to the bed. I sit down while she helps dress me. I look up at her and with fear on my face I say "I have to push." Husband quickly starts the car and they put me in the car to race to the hospital. It's morning traffic hour.
We get to the freeway and on to the on-ramp. It's stopped bumper to bumper because of an accident. I'm crying and begging to get out of the car so I can lay down on the grass. I have to push. We get past the accident and freeway is clear. I'm begging to stop and ask the police at the accident to help us, but we zoom on at top speeds. I need to lay back because sitting up makes me want to bear down. Asked husband to move the infant seat from behind me so that I can recline. He thinks I'm asking so that I can deliver the baby. We are yelling at each other as we continue to misunderstand each other. I'm yelling "I need the seat back!" and he's yelling "no way, just hold on, we're almost there." Looking back, it was very comical. I start pushing because I had to...I needed some relief from the pain- of course I kept this a secret and didn't tell him that I was pushing for fear he'd have a heart attack. We hit the side streets and at every red light, we stop, he looks both ways and runs the red lights all the way to the hospital. He ran several red lights. He drops me off at the ER and passes up the ER's offer to park our car. A candy striper is pushing me into the hospital in a wheel chair running.
Into the elevator we go. I'm crying and yelling and hyperventilating. There is an elderly man in the elevator with us and upon realizing he is trapped in an elevator with a woman that is about to give birth in the elevator he backs himself up as far as he can into the corner. There is a nurse in the elevator. She drops the paper work she is holding onto the floor, bends down to my level in the wheel chair and starts yelling in my face to"RELAX and start breathing!" She breaths with me and yells at me until the door opens. Into the waiting room we go....."what is your name dear?" my response "I'M PUSHING!" "But I need your name..." "I'M PUSHING!" I'm sorry but I really need your name so that I can check you in."
I'M PUSHING!!!!!!!!!!!They finally took me seriously and rolled me into the room with all the beds while several nurses come running in. In a matter of about 2.5 seconds I am miraculously in the bed with my clothes changed into a gown and a nurse is checking me and yelling to the other nurses "SHE'S COMPLETE!" My water is breaking among other things but I'll spare you the yucky details. The bed is broken down as more staff rushes in and I'm being wheeled out while a nurse to my right keeps saying "don't push, don't push, don't push." From another hallway appears what looks to be a doctor although he looks terrified as he runs backwards at the foot of my traveling bed. I think to myself "oh good, a doctor is here to catch the baby" but why is the nurse still saying "don't push"....she probably wants me to wait till we get to the room instead of having the baby in the hallway.....oh know! Where's my husband?!?! He's going to miss it. I'm deliriously calling for him at the top of my lungs, "BUDDY!" "BUDDY!" The nurses are trying to calm me cause they don't know WHO Buddy is. Into the first room we zoom and now I'm counting 9 medical staff and in runs husband and the nurse is still saying "don't push". But I GOTTA PUSH LADY! In runs my doctor and she throws on a white coat and gloves while I'm giving a few pushes and the head is coming through. Good thing my doctor lived right next to the hospital.
The pain is intense and I'm thinking I might die this time.
Me- "I WANT an epidural this time!"
Doctor laughing - "Hun, it's too late for an epidural cause the head is almost out."
Me- "THEN I WANT a C-SECTION!!!"
Now the whole room of 9 staff is laughing including my husband.
Doctor- "I'm shooting you up with vile after vile to try to numb you a little."
Me- "It's not working!"
I'm screaming in agony with every contraction and push.
Doctor- "Head is out, one more push and you're done."
Out comes baby.
Silence. No cry. You could have heard a pin drop in that room. All I could hear were the shuffling of 9 medical staff as they all scurried around the room.
Why isn't my baby crying?
Two intensive care doctors whisked the baby to the corner of the room and are working frantically. Still no cry.
In the silence I awkwardly ask in a soft and tender voice (quite the contrast from my yelling just seconds ago), "what is it???"
No one answers and then a nurse by the door of the room right before she walks out turns and says.... "oh, it's a girl" and walks out.
We look at each other with shock and amazement. We had a girl? Wow! We smiled at each other despite the fear that our little baby that we are yet to lay eyes on is okay.
Finally I see her. She lays still without movement in the little clear plastic hospital bassinet on wheels with lots of little wires hooked up to her. "She's okay" they say, "but we'll need to run some tests and monitor her."
She passed meconium due to the stress of me holding her in for so long, her arm got hurt in the delivery, and I didn't get the antibiotics I needed during labor since I was beta strep positive.
The doctor cleans me up, I pop some mega pain pills, they bring me a hearty breakfast, and the nurse to my right says "I need you to sign these check-in forms that say we can deliver your baby." A little late don't you think? I sign them anyway.
I ask the nurse "why did you make me not push when that other doctor was here?"
Nurse- "because there wasn't an OB in the hospital when you came in, that guy was just a family practitioner in training, you did NOT want him delivering your baby!" Funny, I was thinking he'd be better than delivering in the car or elevator, but there I go being a crazy pregnant lady again.
I apologized for yelling and screaming during labor and the nurse says "it's okay, you weren't bad at all, most of the women curse at us the whole time." I was totally shocked and suddenly didn't feel so bad for screaming my head off with each excrutiating contraction and push.
We got to the hospital at about 8:00 am and she was born at 8:12 am. All that happened in about 10 min. They wrap her up after some observation and handed her to me. She kept her eyes closed and I immediately noticed the swirl of hair at the front of her head...."oh no, she has my cowlick" I thought. She looked nothing like her brother and I was having a hard time believing she came out of me but since there was no way they could have switched babies on me in the same room, I knew she was mine. She just peacefully slept as if what she just went through was way more traumatic for her than it was for me. It probably was.
We called family and friends to let them know God surprised us with a precious girl. What fun it was to call them all and tell them. Up to our recovery room we went. They ran their tests, poked needles all over her to get blood, monitored her for signs of trouble but she progressed just fine. When my doctor came to check on me in the room she said "how's that rocket baby doing?"
That night I heard her first cry. Yes, she does have a voice! No one was there, just me and her. She didn't want to sleep in the rolling bassinet so I pulled it over to my bed and with all the strength I had left in me (which was just about none) I lifted her out with my arms trembling from weakness and brought her in bed with me. I snuggled her close and she quieted immediately and I knew I was in trouble. It was our first moment of bonding....and I'll never forget it.
7 lbs 8 oz
22 inches long (too long to have stretching inside of you transverse!)
8:12 AM
July 19, 2001
I'm posting this on July 19th, 2009 at 8:12 am. At this very moment Emilee Megan turns 8 years old. You are a precious gift, Emilee. You were worth all the sickness in those 9 months, you were worth running red lights, you were worth a traumatic delivery without drugs. You're long eyelashes are entrancing, your olive skin is simply perfection, your big chocolate brown eyes are beautiful, your silky hair is gorgeous, your personality is precious and fun, your sweet desire to please others is admirable, your love for Jesus is infectious, your eye for art is inspiring, your loyal friendship and love for others is incredible, you always protect the weak and watch out for those who are left out, and your nurturing ways are a gift you posses.
You are beautiful inside and out. Your Creator spared no blessing in making you. You bring sunshine to our family in ways the other three of us can't. You make us laugh, smile, and simply be happy. You are fun, you give love without restraint, and you are eager to live for God. We cherish you, have been blessed to have you, and still stand in awe that God would entrust you to us. May God continue to draw you to Himself and may the next 8 years of your life mold you into an incredible woman after God.
You are a precious pearl with radiant beauty and we love you.
Happy Birthday!
Dad and Mom
necklace from Daddy and Momma
Emilee doing Gram's hair in a star shape like mama did to hers. It turned out pretty well!
day 3 (right arm)
day 5 (right arm)
I wanted to name a daughter after one of my great-grandmothers on my mother's side because I love both of their names...one was Clara and one was Amelia. In fact, I'd been very happy with Clara Amelia for a name. =0) But we weren't unified in this love for these names so the name search for a girl name continued....we came up with many and then one day Emilee (Emily) was suggested.
