You can still love me....

After tucking Emilee in bed I said, "I love you" to which she replied,
"you can love me but I'm going down stairs to get a drink."

quote

"Life is hard, but eternity is long."

Some things I liked today....

-taking a brisk walk with my kids and dog in the early morning hours
-listening to Tristan Prettyman on my stereo while....
-making bacon and eggs for dinner with my husband cooking by my side
-listening to the thunder of a storm rolling in on a hot and humid evening
-watching the sky grow gray, the wind blow, lightening and rain drops

these really ministered to my heart this morning....

Psalm 94:19
"When my anxious thoughts multiply within me,Your consolations delight my soul."



Psalm 139:23
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts;"



Isaiah 35:4
"Say to those with anxious heart,"Take courage, fear not Behold, your God will come with vengeance;The recompense of God will come,But He will save you."



Isaiah 41:10
"Do not fear, for I am with you;Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."



Jeremiah 17:8
"For he will be like a tree planted by the water,That extends its roots by a stream And will not fear when the heat comes;But its leaves will be green, And it will not be anxious in a year of drought Nor cease to yield fruit."


Philippians 4:6
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."



Jude 1:21
"keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting anxiously for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to eternal life."



Ecclesiastes 7:8
"The end of a matter is better than its beginning; Patience of spirit is better than haughtiness of spirit."



Galatians 5:22
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,"



Ephesians 4:2
"with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love,"



Colossians 1:10-12
"so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for the attaining of all steadfastness and patience; joyously giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints in Light."



Colossians 3:12
"So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience;"

Hebrews 6:12
"so that you will not be sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises."

1 Peter 2:20
"For what credit is there if, when you sin and are harshly treated, you endure it with patience? But if when you do what is right and suffer for it you patiently endure it, this finds favor with God."

update on Zoe

I did hear last night after I had crashed for the day that Zoe's surgery went well but she always has some trouble coming out of surgery each time so they kept her in ICU last night. She has trouble breathing after she comes out of surgery every time. We are thankful though that the surgery went well.
Thank you for your prayers. She needs prayer for her recovery now.

Wallipogs

We were playing an ABC game in the car on our long trip to Sacramento a few weeks ago and when we got to the letter W Jon had to come up with an animal that starts with W. He yelled out WALLIPOG!

We all paused and started laughing.
He meant Polliwog.

Still haven't heard

if Zoe is out of surgery yet.....
I'll post as soon as I know something....
I'm pretty anxious but trying to wait patiently

praying for Zoe today

Today Zoe is in surgery for her cleft palette and the tubes in her ears. We prayed for her last night and twice this morning and will keep lifting her, her parents, and the doctors up to the throne of grace.

What our homeschool year is looking like.....

This is what our school day is looking like this year. Each year seems to morph into something totally different when it comes to routine and schedule. So, I figured I'd get down on paper cyber paper that is, what we are doing this year. Here's what the kids do:

Kid's Morning Routine:
get dressed
make bed
eat breakfast
brush teeth
pet chores
pick up bedroom and straighten family room
kiss mom (yep, this is on their chore list and they love it as do I!)
read 1 chapter in Bible
empty dishwasher

Morning Walk (we take a morning walk before school starts)

School starts: (8am or 9am depending on the day)
Work Boxes (they work through these first independently)
Lunch Break
History/Science/Bible (we do these together on the sofa in the afternoon)

We are usually done with school by at least 1pm if not earlier thanks to the workbox system.

WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE WORKBOX SYSTEM?
A couple of things-
1. I haven't read the actual book on it.
2. I haven't been to a workshop to learn how to do it.
3. I've taken the premise and figured out a method that works for us.

If you want to know about the system from it's creator, go to her site here or read her book.

Here are links to several different ways people are implementing the workbox system. (thanks Jess for turning me on to this and for forwarding the links)
totes and a rack
drawers
file tubs
shoe box tubs and racks
magazine boxes
and a video on it from the creator

We are using the method that is the second one down (drawers) on the link list above. I bought 2 sets of sterilite 12x12 scrapbooking drawers for each child giving them each 6 drawers. We are doing a very compact version of this so I could see how we could easily use more drawers but for now this is sufficient. I liked this version because it's a compact way to do it and doesn't take up much space in our house.

Here's how it works for us:
The kids start school and go open drawer #1. I usually mix the drawer numbers up so that they aren't in order which keeps the whole thing interesting for them. They open the drawer and take out the task. It might be a post-it-note with instructions on it, like, "set your timer for 30 min. and play our computer math game." (My kids have a kitchen timer that they use for timing things like school work, a task, their shower!, their reading, their breaks etc. so that they don't go on endlessly.) Once that drawer is finished they put the number onto the top chart where it goes and move to the next drawer.

The drawers are filled with their school work often with a post-it-note stuck to it saying how many pages to complete. One drawer always holds a surprise snack. Sometimes there is a post-it-note that says "take a 15 min. break and play with your dog" or things like that. I plan on putting some other things in there too, like a cookie mix with a note that says "go bake some cookies!". Adding some surprises in the work boxes mixed in with their school work keeps them going. Sometimes I put an art craft in a box, or a special book to read or study. Sometimes there is a special project or science project in the drawer.

For organizational purposes, we use the top drawer for their school supplies. ie. their box of crayons, box of pencils, erasers, ruler, scissors, cursive chart, etc....

Why I love this system so far:
1. It holds me accountable to lay out their school work the night before.
2. It gives my kids self motivation.
3. It gives my kids an end in sight to their daily school work.
4. It gives my kids independence and responsibility over their work.
5. It keeps our school work organized and all in one place.
6. It gives my kids a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day when they see all their numbers stuck on the top chart.
7. It makes the school day more fun.
8. It frees me up to help them when they need it and to get other things done rather than constantly being asked what they are supposed to do next and me trying to figure it out at the moment.In about 10 min. before I go to bed I can have the workboxes ready to go for the next day.

Mom's Morning Routine:
(it varies greatly but I usually try to get these things done:)
shower
make bed
clean up my bedroom and bathroom
make breakfast
throw in a load of laundry
read Bible
check email
do breakfast dishes
walk with the kids
prep lunch and dinner

There's our workbox story and what our school day looks like this school year. I've probably left something super important out but oh well....that's what I've got off the top of my head. =0)

on our minds and around our house

Hoodwinked (love this family film!)
Babysitting Grandpa's dog, Finn, who picked and ate cucumbers and pumpkins out of our garden.
School routine getting started this week.
Using our new workbox system...this version only we use 6 boxes total (so far our kids love it).
Making pasta sauce with tomatoes from our garden.
Cleaning rental properties for Grandpa.
Clearing trees and overgrowth at Grandpa's house.
Reading How Do You Know the Bible is From God?
Starting my own house cleaning business....finally picked a name. Welcome Home House Cleaning
Resting in God's loving hand and providence.
Studying Ecclesiastes.
Visiting with Aunt Annie today and her new puppy, Murtee.
Moondance Alexander (another great family film especially if you have a daughter that loves horses)

overwhelmed with gratitude.....

I'm totally overwhelmed with the outpouring of love and generosity of others. We don't deserve it. I've never known greater generosity than those in the family of Christ. We are so grateful and thankful and .....are there not any more words to describe our gratitude? Who are we that we should be so blessed....

smashed lettuce, mmm, my favorite

Gotta love it when your 8 year old helps you bag your groceries and 6 boxes of butter that was on sale ends up on top of your lettuce. It makes me smile and I know that all too soon I'll be eating perfectly unsquished lettuce and I'll miss her being little.

Jon's 10th birthday

We celebrated it at the same time as Gram's.....he was quite a ham with his facial expressions and all. Silly kid.

Onion Morning

The smell of onion is wafting through my windows this morning. The onion farmers must be harvesting their onion fields that are around us. I much prefer when they harvest the mint fields. =0) But being that we live in a state that produces more onions than any other state, I'm bound to smell the onions at least part of the time.

I hate that word!

In the store Emilee was asking for something and I replied "hunny, it's too expensive" and apparently I've been saying that too much lately cause she replied, "I hate that word!"

Mom- "What word?"
Emilee- "Esspensive!"

we are bruised and broken masterpieces but we did not paint ourselves

In the economy of mercy
I am a poor and begging man
In the currency of grace
Is where my song begins
In the colors of Your goodness
In the scars that mark Your skin
In the currency of grace
Is where my song begins

These carbon shells
These fragile dusty frames
House canvases of souls
We are bruised and broken masterpieces
But we did not paint ourselves
And where will I find You?

Where was I when the world was made?

our table holds a whole world of memories....

today we've been bound together for 14 years. It was a hot August day in sunny southern California and at 1pm I walked down the isle to be your wife. We looked into each other's eyes and promised unity in happiness and in trials. We giggled at the phrase "for richer or poorer" assuming we'd be the latter. We smiled at the future with all our hopes and dreams. It's strange how life produces the dreams in a twisted sort of way mixed in with hard times. I look back and there are so many things I didn't know where coming.....like infertility, relocation, diagnosis, surgeries, a sickly infant who possibly wouldn't walk, church splits, financial strain, ER trips, ministry struggles, job loss, and many more things.....and even now we face them. Some fears, some realities...but I also look back and see some of the dreams that came true. God is so good to have willed us to enjoy some of our dreams. I wouldn't want to live those dreams with anyone else but you.

Remember that song that we liked when we were first married.... So We Never Got To Paris. I can still hear it in the back of my mind playing in our first apartment in 1995.

Young lovers, without much
Save each other, isn't that enough
Paint the future, a little day by day
Making plans with no regard for what might come our way

This cup fills up so quickly
There's so much on our plate
Between the living and the learning
Some things must wait

So we never got to Paris
And found the cafe of our dreams
But our table holds a whole world of memories
No, we never went to Venice
And strolled the streets alone
But we built our worlds together and we got the best of both

There's still wonder in our eyes
But we see each other in a different light
Yet the future isn't always clear
Now the question is where do we go from here

This cup fills up so quickly
There's too much on our plate
Between the living and the dying
Some things must wait

So we never got to Paris
And found the cafe of our dreams
But our table holds a whole world of memories
No, we never went to Venice
And strolled the streets alone
But we built our worlds together and we got the best of both

We may never get to Paris
And find the cafe of our dreams
But our table still will hold a world of memories
If we never get to Venice
And roam the streets alone
We'll hold our worlds together and we'll keep the best of both

We may never get our "Paris" but somehow our "Paris" seems to change through the years. That's okay too. All I know is that I was right about you from day one. You were the one. I knew that our marriage would be steadfast. I knew that we'd grow closer together through hard times, not further apart. I knew you'd love me forever and that I'd love you forever.

This anniversary may not be anything super when it comes to celebrating but that's okay, because sparks still fly on ordinary days. Today means smiling at the future and the past. It's the locking eyes with the knowing look and not having to speak a word to know all that is behind our smiles. It's knowing that I'll stand beside you no matter what (and "what" sure can be a lot to take on at times) and you'll always hold me tight when I'm weak. God knew we needed each other and that we'd serve Him better together than apart.

You are handsome.
You are brave.
You are honest.
You are a man of integrity.
You are slow to anger.
You are slow to speak.
You have patience in abundance.
You are kind.
You are loving.
You are unwavering.
You are a peace maker.
You are humble.
You are a faithful servant.
You are a super hard worker.
You possess great loyalty.
You are smart.
You have amazing insight.
You are a man devoted to His Lord.
You are a wonderful Daddy.
You are an example.
You are a sacrificial leader.
You are romantic.
You are fun to be with.
You always put me first.
You are a constant friend as ever there was.
You have the most genuine and hardy laugh.
You have an amazing voice.
You are so talented and gifted.
You have incredible copper eyes.
You are a great provider.
You and I are ONE and I love you more than I know how to put into words......

happy 14th anniversary today, Buddy
XO

wedding dress reminisce

Mama's wedding dress
Gram's wedding dress

Now we just need to get some shots in Grandma's dress too....hint hint....

perspective

How well we endure hardships is determined by our eternal perspective. If we see hardships through the eyes of eternity then we realize that what others do to us and what circumstances come our way are but a fleeting moment in time. But too often we listen to the voices of others and the voice of the sinner inside us while tuning out the voice of God which gives way to changing our perspective. In light of an eternal perspective, I've never been more at peace with God than I have been as of late. The more I sacrifice the more peaceful it gets. The more things that I set on the alter to be consumed by Holy fire, the easier it is to submit to His will and let go of my will. Will He give the things on the alter back? or will He consume them? It doesn't matter anymore....that's not even the point. What else can I sacrifice? I'm scared to ask because it's painful to sacrifice. Wow, I'm a slow learner but I'm starting to get it.

Psalm 4:4 "Tremble, and do not sin; Meditate in your heart upon your bed, and be still."

Acts 4:20 "for we cannot stop speaking about what we have seen and heard."

Acts 20:24 "But I do not consider my life of any account as dear to myself, so that I may finish my course and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify solemnly of the gospel of the grace of God"

Ecclesiastes 3:11 "He has made everything appropriate in its time He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end."

Romans 12:1-2 "Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect."

I Peter 2:5 "you also, as living stones, are being built up as a spiritual house for a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ."

Hebrews 13:16 "And do not neglect doing good and sharing, for with such sacrifices God is pleased."

Stories For Our Kids- Jon's Birth Story

It was November of 1998 and we had been married 4 years. I was having some health issues and went to the doctor. She told me that I had a tumor and would probably need a hysterectomy. I was shocked and devastated. I expected that I would have trouble having kids but this was much more than I was prepared to hear. Just to rule out pregnancy she sent me to the hospital lab to have a urine pregnancy test. A few minutes later I was assured that it was negative and sent me on my way. I was numb as I drove home....

A week or so later we told my parents about the problems I was having and what the doctor had said and my mom said I should have a blood pregnancy test to make sure I wasn't pregnant because her urine tests always came back negative when she was pregnant. So I called the doctor's office and asked for a blood test. They acted if I was being high maintenance and a nuisance. I went to the lab, had the test done and was told I'd be called with results in about 2 days.

2 days later, late in the evening, I was home alone in our little apartment waiting for my husband to be home in a few hours. The phone rang and it was my insensitive and tactless doctor who said something like "well, it came back positive but you're probably going to lose it anyway." Wow, thanks. That's the way every first time mom wants to find out she's expecting. So I was excited but nervous. I didn't want to get my hopes up but that was well, hopeless. I guess I just believed in my heart that it would be okay. The worst part was waiting for my husband to walk through the door from work so he could be the first to know. This was before cell phones were common and I couldn't call him at work. I wanted to tell someone so bad and I had to just sit there in the recliner waiting hours staring at the wall. I was somewhat in shock that there was actually a baby inside of me.

He finally came home and I was still sitting right there by the door when he walked in. I told him he was going to be a daddy and he was also very surprised. He immediately got on his knees and hugged my belly and started talking to the baby inside of me. It was a precious moment. Then we called our parents to tell them that they were each going to be grandparents for the first time. We ignored the fact that the doctor said I would lose the baby.

Being that I wasn't thrilled with this doctor, my mom quickly found me a specialist (thanks to her nurse connections) and I was soon going to my first visit with a new doctor. He was wonderful and happened to be an ultra sound specialist himself. So, for my first appointment, he said we'd see if we could find the baby. After 20 long minutes of searching the screen, he found 2 baby sacks but no babies. I was laying there with hot tears starting to stream down my cheeks. Two sacks and no babies? Not even one? One of the sacks was only half the size of the other and he explained that I was miscarrying that one which explained several of my symptoms, but the other sack seemed to be healthy and a good size but there was no baby in it. He kept magnifying the machine and searching from every angle. He moved the doppler around trying to find a baby. Just before giving up he said to the nurse standing by the door, "did you see that?" See what? I wanted to scream! She just whispered "yes"....and he intently kept magnifying the machine and searching and searching and I craned my neck around as far as I could to see that darn screen. He turned to me with a smile and said, "look, there is a baby in there!" There it was...a little flashing heart beat of a speck. I'll never forget that moment as long as I live. Now the tears really came.

It was real. I really did have a baby in there. I had two but now I had one. I was sad because I have always wanted twins. I actually went through some emotions over losing the other one even though I was grateful for one. Pregnancy hormones are tough things.

Time passed and I was sick....I threw up about 10 times but mostly I was super tired. One day at work I went into the conference room (locked the door behind me) on my break and laid down on the floor (all dressed up, crazy I know but I was desperate for sleep) and laid my head on my bent arm for some rest. Suddenly I woke up and was totally confused about where I was...I quickly realized I was at work and couldn't believe that I had fallen asleep. I jumped up, straightened my dress, slipped my heals back on and went to my desk only to find that several hours had passed! I was horrified! What would my boss think of me. She laughed and said "I figured you needed the rest." She was very kind.

At 7 months pregnant, my original doctor called whom the last time I spoke with was when she called to tell me I was pregnant. My husband answered the phone and she asked if I was still pregnant. He answered "yes" and hung up the phone. LOL. It was kinda funny. I was surprised that she waited till I was 7 months pregnant to collect on my delivery. She obviously wasn't too interested in giving me prenatal care.

The plan was that I would quit work on Aug. 2 since that was a Monday and I had to work into the month that I wanted my medical insurance to go through. I was due Aug. 8th. So, I worked up to 5 days before I was due. I was commuting 45 min. to work which was difficult as it was so my sweet husband drove me to work every morning and picked me up from work every evening. On my last day, he brought me a huge bouquet of red roses. Now it was time to have a baby. I went home and spent the next 5 days preparing the house and resting. Aug. 8th came and went. Aug. 10th came and went. No braxton hicks, no labor, no nothing. Aug. 12th came and went. Aug. 14th at 10pm I was laying in bed while my husband was reading in bed and boom, my water broke. It was like a garden hose. I sat up so fast and said, "MY WATER BROKE!" Hurray! It was finally going to happen.

I called my doctor's partner since my doctor was in Las Vegas till Monday, and he asked if I was having any contractions. I told him no. He said that once they got going and were about 5 min. apart that I could head to the hospital. So, we took our time and called our families to tell them that the baby was on it's way, we gathered our bags together, and then after about an hour the contractions started. They were slow (about 7 min. apart). Daddy was scurrying around trying to get the music for Sunday morning together to pass on to others since it was Saturday night, and his lessons plans since Monday was his first day of teaching school. Then, I did something very silly. Brace yourselves, yes, I put my make up on. Don't ask me why...dumb I know. I knew too that it would be smeared everywhere by the time I had given birth but I was still quite vain back then.

We left for the hospital but stopped by the church to drop off the music for Sunday morning and the lesson plans for his class on Monday. That took quite some time and I was in quite a bit of pain in the car waiting as each contraction came. He got back in the car and I was relieved that we were finally heading to the hospital. Oh but wait, he has to stop at the gas station to wash the windshield because it wasn't clean enough and to run in and by himself a coke. Um, ya, I was getting a bit annoyed at this point considering we had a 45 min. drive to the hospital ahead of us and my mom had had all of us in 5 hours or less. By the time we got to the hospital my water had been broken for 5 hours, my contractions were 5 min. apart, and I figured that my painful contractions were going to produce a baby any minute.

HA! Fat chance pregnant lady! I got checked in and then they checked me....and I was a whopping 1 (yes ONE) centimeter. I couldn't believe it. You mean this amount of pain is just one centimeter and I have decided to go natural without an epidural! Yikes, what have I got myself into. Well, maybe it will go quickly I thought. After several hours I finally reached about 4 centimeters. I was in agony and having trouble getting through the contractions. The nurses assured me that I could have "my" epidural soon (as if they had one with my name on it in the back) but I assured them that I could do this and would not need an epidural. At about 6 centimeters, they finally wheeled me out of the 10-girls-in-a-room-separated-by-hanging-sheets-room to my own private birthing room. This must be a good sign that it's almost over I thought.

A couple of hours go by and my doctor finally arrives. I had been pretty anxious about him finally coming to check on me. I felt total relief that he was here only to have him announce that his son had locked himself out of the house so he was going to go home and let him in the house and then come back. I was totally panicking inside and felt like he was abandoning me! Holy Cow, I could have this baby any second and you are going to go let your locked out kid into the house!

Several hours later I'm still enduring labor. My nurse comes in and asks me if I'd like a drug to help me sleep in-between contractions. Sure, why not at this point cause I've been up all night and I'm totally exhausted. I hoped it would help me sleep THROUGH the contractions but no such luck, I woke up with each one. My sweet husband got me through each one even though he was resting his head on the side of the bed while sitting in a chair beside me. We were both completely drained of strength and energy. I had 3 doses spread out of the "help you sleep in-between pills" but then I went back to just getting through it without sleep. A few more hours went by and the pain was getting incredibly difficult. I could no longer get up and walk around....in fact, there's a funny story about having to go to the bathroom but you can ask me about that so that I don't have to post it on the web for all to read!

The pain was getting so bad I was getting delirious. I was trying to talk but I couldn't form a sentence and the whole room was starting to look funny to me and I kept fading like I was going to pass out from pure exhaustion. It was at this point that my husband thought it was a good idea to video me trying to talk while I was delirious. Real nice! Let's take video of the crazy pregnant lady delirious from pain! That'll be fun. Yes, so there is video of me and on the video he is saying funny stuff like "this is your mom on drugs" and stuff like that.....and I'm talking all crazy on it.

The hours were rolling by and I was progressing so slowly. My doctor came in and checked me. Only 7 centimeters. He came in every half hour to see if I had gotten far enough along but the hours just kept ticking by. He was getting concerned about how long it had been since my water broke. He would stand in the door way shaking his head. I knew this wasn't looking good. I wanted to have a natural birth so badly. He came in again and still I wasn't far enough along. He walked to the door again and turned back and said, "if you haven't progressed by the time I check you again I'm going to have to take you in for a c-section." I was devastated. My heart prayed and begged God to let all this time and pain to not be for nothing.

At 9 1/2 centimeters the baby had turned sideways and the baby's face was facing my side and the baby was stuck. Yep, stuck. All that and the baby was stuck. The nurse had an idea. She got me up on my side and in some strange position and said that a lot of times it will make the baby turn back the right way. Moving was terribly painful at this point but I managed it. About a half hour later the baby's head was back in the right position. The nurse got me back into a pushing position. The doctor came back in to check me and announced that I could start pushing! Hallelujah! I couldn't believe it, God had spared me a c-section after all that. Pushing was much harder than I thought pain wise. I expected it to be a bit of a relief but it was even more work and I was completely worn out already. The pain was horrendous and I was screaming.

An hour or so of pushing went by and yet again I wasn't making progress. I had been in labor so long that my contractions were starting to slow down. My body was done and tired and yet the baby still wasn't out. I would push and push and push and the baby's head would come a little further down but then in-between the contractions that were getting further and further apart, the baby's head would go back up. This continued on for some time until they decided to give me a little pitocin to get my contractions close together again. It worked and I kept pushing.

The doctor kept yelling to push harder to get the head out. I was screaming with pain and my drill sargent-nurse was no sweet flower about it either. She showed no mercy to my poor left leg that ended up being numb in the thigh for about 3 months following. The doctor asked if I wanted a mirror to see the birth and I told him sure. A few minutes into the head coming I screamed to get rid of the mirror! I couldn't watch in that much pain otherwise I'd stop pushing! The pain was so bad that I seriously thought my life was going to end right there on that birthing bed. I just closed my eyes to push as hard as I could knowing my body would just rip in half up to my neck and I just prayed, "God please take me quick cause I know I'm about to die." The doctor announced that the head was out. I cried "what is it?" since we were waiting for this surprise all these months and hadn't found out what we were having. The doctor replied, "I don't know yet but it's got a ton of hair!" Soon the shoulders were out, ouch, and the rest of the baby came with ease. Quickly came the cries of a newborn and the doctor proclaimed that it was a boy. They cut the cord, weighed him, cleaned him up, let daddy trim the cord, and then wrapped him up nice and warm. They handed him to daddy first as I was still getting attended to. Delivering the placenta was surprisingly painful.

Then, I got to hold him. He was shivering and whimpering. Poor little thing. No one should have to be birthed for 22 hours....nor pushed out for 2 1/2 hours. My sweet baby was black and blue on his head with bruises from birth and his once round little head was pointed and narrow. Daddy opened the curtains on our room so that I could see outside and I was perplexed because it was still dark out. I said "wow, I thought that took a long time but I guess it's still night time." He laughed and explained that day light had come and gone and I was still in labor the whole time and now it was the NEXT night! You mean, he wasn't born on Aug. 14th??? I was confused and trying to wrap my mind around it. You mean, it's Sunday night? Yep, he was born at 8:01pm on Aug. 15th. I missed all of Aug. 14th and never saw the day light that day.

The nurse asked us if our baby had a name. We both answered that it would be Jonathan Michael but I was still slurring my speech and unable to get sentences out in the right form.

Our firstborn baby~
Jonathan Michael
August 15th, 1999
8:01 pm
21 inches long
8 pounds 6 ounces

The nurse had me get up to go to the bathroom. Cruel and unusual punishment I thought after having given birth just minutes before. I hobbled to the bathroom trembling and shaking with every step. I got in to the bathroom and looked up at the person in the mirror and jerked back with shock at the swollen face in the mirror. Was that me? I didn't even recognize myself. There was blood coming through the pores of my eye lids, my eyes were dark like I had black eyes, my face was red and super puffy. I felt like I had been hit by a truck and I obviously looked like I had as well.

Soon I was into a wheelchair being taken to my room and my baby had been whisked off to the newborn nursery to get under a heat lamp to get him warm.

I did it. I really did it. I couldn't believe that I did have that baby naturally and I couldn't believe how hard it was and how long it took but thankfully it was over! I was completely in love with this sweet little boy. He was perfect in every way.

My real doctor (after getting back from Vegas) came to see me in the morning but first he had stopped by the nursery to see Jonathan. He came into my room and exclaimed "What a BEAUTIFUL baby!" I thought so too. We chatted for a bit about Jonathan's perfect skin and his handsome features and light blue eyes, and I appreciated his care and compliments on my sweet baby boy. I couldn't have been more pleased with the beautiful bundle God had blessed us with. He was truly a precious "gift from God" as his name means and he still is.

We love you so much Jonathan and it's hard to find words to express that. You were worth all the labor pain in the world. The moment you were born all the pain and agony was forgotten. It was over and I had you, and I was smiling with perfect contentment. You are the most kind hearted boy I know. Your are sensitive to the things of God and to others. You are always anxious to please your parents and do what is right. You are a wonderful big brother. You have always been super cuddly which we've super enjoyed. You have the most amazing blue eyes and are terribly handsome! You are such a hard worker and have the best attitude about working hard. You inspire me to do my work with joy every day. Everything you do is done well and with excellence. You are neat and tidy as well. I love our discussions and how much your mind wants to acquire wisdom and knowledge. You have a rare conviction for truth and honesty for someone your age. You are wise beyond your years. It's our prayer that you become a great man of God, a servant leader, brave and strong, standing for truth. In all you do may you serve your King faithfully!

We love you, and happy 10th birthday!
Love,
Mom and Dad
I'm posting this at 8:01pm today....the very time you were born 10 years ago.

petition

Jon- "Dear God, please help me to not be tempted by so many things."

update from my sister

my sister posted an update on her blog..... click here

And Can It Be?

And can it be that I should gain
An interest in the Savior’s blood?
Died He for me, who caused His pain—
For me, who Him to death pursued?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?

’Tis mystery all: th’Immortal dies:
Who can explore His strange design?
In vain the firstborn seraph tries
To sound the depths of love divine.
’Tis mercy all! Let earth adore,
Let angel minds inquire no more.
’Tis mercy all! Let earth adore;
Let angel minds inquire no more.

He left His Father’s throne above
So free, so infinite His grace—
Emptied Himself of all but love,
And bled for Adam’s helpless race:
’Tis mercy all, immense and free,
For O my God, it found out me!
’Tis mercy all, immense and free,
For O my God, it found out me!

Long my imprisoned spirit lay,
Fast bound in sin and nature’s night;
Thine eye diffused a quickening ray—
I woke, the dungeon flamed with light;
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.

Still the small inward voice I hear,
That whispers all my sins forgiven;
Still the atoning blood is near,
That quenched the wrath of hostile Heaven.
I feel the life His wounds impart;
I feel the Savior in my heart.
I feel the life His wounds impart;
I feel the Savior in my heart.

No condemnation now I dread;
Jesus, and all in Him, is mine;
Alive in Him, my living Head,
And clothed in righteousness divine,
Bold I approach th’eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.
Bold I approach th’eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.

you homeschool?

This was such a good article....thanks Jen for posting about it. Not that I need Dr. Laura to feel confident about my life choices (I was homeschooled long enough myself to not need the world's support in my thinking) but the article in and of itself has interesting information on studies done and is well written. I've heard it all either when I was homeschooled myself as a kid or now as a homeschool parent. Nothing tops my freshmen year in college when just after voting me employee of the year for my team work and outgoing personality at the college library, my peers had a discussion bashing homeschooler's social abilities. I quickly jumped into the conversation and asked if they thought I was "socially challenged" and one girl quickly laughed and said "no of course not" and continued on. I interrupted again and asked "but do you think I have trouble interacting with others and making friends?" To which she laughed again and said "no, you are super out going and that's why we all picked you as employee of the year." She continued and I pressed a third time, "but do you think that I have any of the traits you are describing about homeschoolers?" Silence fell over the work room as each person in the room was catching on. I smiled and said "yes, I was homeschooled."

Why is it that if a homeschooler is shy, that is worse than a public school kid who is rambunctious, considered ADD because no one can manage them, spoiled, undisciplined, a trouble maker, class clown, smoking, drinking, etc..... Why do we just chalk that up as normal? Not that all public school kids are like that. I went to public school as well. In fact, I went to private school also. I spent a good amount of time in each form of American education and so I have a pretty good handle on what to expect from each. They all have their pros and cons but I wish that people would start to recognize the pros of homeschooling and some of the cons to other forms of education to bring some balance to it all.

Praising God....for His mercies!

PRAISING GOD that ELIAS got his visa late tonight!!!!!!

God's mercies are new every morning, Great is His faithfulness!

still praying for his safe travels in the city of Juarez as he takes his visa to the border to get stamped with a seal and then travels the far distance back home.

Tears of joy at our house! God is so good and merciful!

update on Elias

Elias called the DHL place yesterday morning and they said that they did not have anything for him and to keep calling all day to check back. They had originally said that it could take up to 4 days but we were hoping it would be Monday so that he doesn't have to keep sitting in the hotel room waiting and paying for a room. He is very bored and every day he stays there is a stretch financially for them. My sister is home with the baby waiting.

continued prayer for
~patience as they wait and as the rest of us wait
~for mercy if someone is still reviewing his paperwork
~that he will get his visa and soon
~safety and protection while he is in that city and traveling

reaping a harvest

Our garden has been doing well despite our neglect. We've been able to harvest a little of almost everything we planted. Just waiting on the pumpkins and watermelon.

So far we have had:
blueberries
beets
radishes
tomatoes
peas
cucumbers
basil
cilantro
parsley

on our minds and around our house

Wives and Daughters
Stepping Heavenward
Rain the past few days making it feel like it's fall already.
How much we get attached to earthly things.
Homemade pizza
My dear sister and her family.
Gardening
How God hears all our prayers and answers every single one.
Listening to my husband play and sing Revelation Song for me (his voice is amazing)....thank you, Buddy...you calm my restless soul with your music.

the greatest of these is love

I'm convinced that loving is the most difficult thing to do as a believer. I've struggled with this endlessly. It's easy to serve others out of duty, it's easy to teach others out of pride, it's easy to act like a believer on the outside, to have great faith in God is achievable, but to truly love others and apply love to everything I do is another whole level. My pride, my selfishness, my superficialness, my desire to feel important and significant all drain my ability to love purely. I'm convinced that the only love I've successfully mastered is the love of myself.

an update from my mom

Katie just received a call from Elias. After a 2 hour wait he was allowed to pay the fees and then waited over an hour to be called in and was talked to by a very nice lady. She asked him only one question and then told him to go pay the DHL (like FEDEX) costs and to return. He came back and she told him that Immigration will review his file and let him know on Monday.

Our prayer continues and he will stay at the hotel tonight and then see if he can go to his friends parents Saturday and Sunday. He will return on Monday to see if they have an answer for him.

devoted to prayer this morning

We've been devoting our morning to prayer for Elias. He is at his immigration appointment and is going through his questioning interview. I will post something as soon as I hear anything. Be praying between 10am-12pm today! All his travels yesterday to get to Juarez went smoothly. All of his bus rides and both flights made it! =0) Praising God for that.

focussing our hope

I Corinthians 15:19 "If we have hoped in Christ in this life only, we are of all men most to be pitied."

Something is missing.....

It's summer and something is missing. Every where I go, something is missing. I think it's a new phenomenon with my generation....

It's summer time and our street that is filled with families is quiet....the children aren't running through the sprinklers, no popsicles being dripped down hot bellies, no kids seeing if an egg will fry on the hot sidewalk near where they are playing hopscotch with chalk....no cowboy and Indians being played around every neighbor's bush and backyard. Not until after work hours that is.

I go to the store and there are hardly any kids there....but mine.

I took my kids to the museum and we were the only ones in there.... something is missing...where are all the kids? It's summer time and I can't find any kids.

I took my kids to the park and OH wait, here are the kids! Yes, finally some kids at the park in the summer....oh no, something still isn't right...they all have matching shirts on and are being instructed on how to play in a group circle by young adults wearing STAFF t-shirts. These aren't quite the kids I was looking for...I was looking for the free kids, running free, laughing and playing while their moms relax with a book on a blanket with the picnic basket.

It's summer time and where are all the kids???

Summer time must not be what it was to me growing up....all the neighbor kids playing endlessly day after day using our imaginations to turn our front yards into anything we wanted, riding our bikes, eating popsicles..... summer time meant mom taking us to the park, swimming at a friend's house, or taking us to the beach.

It's like a twilight zone for me...

Bubbles with Emilee

It was by chance that I got Zoe's face in that bubble shot. The other
pictures, Zoe, realizes that bubble soap doesn't taste so good. Yuck!

Zoe laughing

girl cousins

Emilee was quite taken with her new cousin. They bonded instantly and
were inseparable. Emilee cried when we pulled out of the driveway waving
goodbye to Zoe.

bonding with his niece

I like it when my uncle reads to me...he's my new favorite guy.

whatcha got in your pocket?

Zoe

She's got the family eyelashes.....

Who me?

I'm not pushing any buttons, really, I'm not.

Our niece, Zoe

Zoe on her baby dedication day

auto pilot

Our blog has been on auto pilot for the summer but I've been inserting posts here and there as we go. For the most part our summer has been very unpredictable and I haven't had time to spend much time blogging. I'm hoping that will change in the fall but we'll see.

Meantime, we went last week to meet our niece, Zoe, for the first time and to be there for her baby dedication. We wouldn't have been able to go if it wasn't for the generosity of my brother-in-law and sister-in-law! Thank you guys for inviting us down and paying for our trip. What an amazing time we had with you and can't wait to do it again sometime.

Pictures to come soon.

There is a lot on my mind right now....Friday is almost here and I'll be on my knees praying most of that day. School book orders are arriving daily this week which brings joy to me and not so much for my kids. LOL. It's hard to believe that summer is almost over. In some ways I feel like I totally missed it. I'm looking forward to knowing what God has for us this year.

falling short of perfection

"Next to being a perfect wife, I want to be a perfect mother. How mortifying, how dreadful in all things to come short of even one's own standard! What approach, then, does one make to God's standard?"

Stepping Heavenward by Elizabeth Prentiss 1880

age of obedient parents

"People ask me how it happens that my children are all so promptly obedient and so happy. As if it chanced that some parents have such children or chanced that some have not! I am afraid it is only too true, as someone has remarked, that "this is the age of obedient parents!" What then will be the future of their children? How can they yield to God who have never been taught to yield to human authority? And how well fitted will they be to rule their own households who have never learned to rule themselves?"

Stepping Heavenward by Elizabeth Prentiss 1880

Prayer for Aug. 7th appointment

For an update on how to pray for my sister and her husband this week, see this post. His next immigration appointment is this Friday, Aug. 7th. Your prayers are super appreciated!