You Lose

Spurgeon:

"You cannot sin so much as God can forgive. If it comes to a pitched battle

between sin and grace, you shall not be so bad as God shall be good. I will prove

it to you. You can only sin as a man, but God can forgive as a God. You sin as a

finite creature, but the Lord forgives as the infinite Creator."

I would seek God

"But as for me, I would seek God, and I would place my cause before God; Who does great and unsearchable things, wonders without number." Job 5:8&9

"Behold, how happy is the man whom God reproves, so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty." Job 5:17

"You will know that your tent is secure, for you will visit your abode and fear no loss." Job 5:24

spurring on from children

Our children from time to time will write down a verse of Scripture and leave it on our bed for us and I'm always taken back by the verses they choose for us. Jon left one a few weeks ago and Emilee left one last week. Both spoke volumes to our lives right now and I'm thankful that God chooses even our children to minister to us and encourage us.

Jon left us:

"The earnest prayer of a righteous man has great power and wonderful results." James 5:16

Em left us:

"Whatever happens dear friends, be glad in the Lord." Philippians 3:1

Themes and Hopes

Themes of 2009

change
unemployed
no unemployment checks
family time
refreshment
relief
trust
deepened friendships
family drawing close
forgiveness
letting go of things
waiting
testing
discipline
pain
comforting one another
church change
new adventures
unexpected gifts
gratefulness
uncertainty
spiritual growth
new realizations
eyes opened
refining fire
struggle
patience
hard work
provision
faithful giving
schedule adjustments
credit card free
hope

Hopes for 2010

closer to debt free
find ways to be more frugal
pursue more natural ways
permanent job
permanent home
foster care
character growth in all of us
perseverance in trials
quality family time
balanced time management
kids take on more responsibilities
trust God better without worry
physical health
healing
opportunities to serve God
a church home to call family
to keep up better with missionaries
faithfully pray

Hello 35

I'm back. The computer has been healed thanks to husband having a day off to work on it for me. It could use a little more memory but hey, so could I. All in good time right. Oh, and I see that blogger is telling me that I'm almost out of space on this account so I'm guessing that means I'll have to start yet another account. Sigh. I should have asked for a wordpress blog for my birthday, huh?

So, I woke up to my children bringing me birthday cards and singing Happy Birthday to me. Delightful. My husband's card is always found on my pillow on the morning of my birthday which I love because the morning is about the only unbusy part of my birthday. All morning long I get to cherish his written words that always bring tears to my eyes. He really is gifted at picking out cards. Maybe it's the artistic side of him, but he has a great way with words. He writes me the most meaningful letters.

Then my husband took me out to breakfast just the two of us. Precious and cherished....I think that's only the 3rd time we've been on a date in the last 7 months. Priceless, yes. We ran a few last minute errands, ran off to a Christmas Eve Service, and then headed to my parents for our traditional German dinner (that my mom always makes so well, YUM) and birthday gifts. My family that was able to attend dinner went around the table and each prayed for me and thanked God for me. That was really sweet and I'll always remember that. My family and friends have all said such nice things about me today. Why don't I see me as good as they see me?

So, it was a busy day but a good one. I received so many wonderful birthday phone calls and a shocking amount of facebook birthday wishes.

Here's one of my first baby pictures. Pre-ultra-sound of course. Isn't my mom beautiful and my dad so handsome? My mom was due with me the first few days of December but her doctor thought I'd be born before Thanksgiving. He was a great doctor but a little off on this one.

I haven't handled getting older past 29 very well at all. When I was turning 30 I about had a melt down. My friends (who were all older than me) thought my melt down was hilarious and thought it would be funny to throw me a funeral surprise party. They are crazy that way. It did make me laugh though and helped me get through the frustration of getting older. I realized tonight that I get this from my dad. He hates getting older too. We are a lot alike and that's for sure one thing we have in common. I'll never forget that funeral at 30. And now I can't even believe I'm 35. Excuse me while I have my own self-focused moment here and stomp my foot.

When I was 7 years old I thought it was the best age to be and the best part of life and so I wanted to stay 7 for the rest of my life. I'm glad that I didn't get my wish because I would have missed out on so many wonderful things....especially the man I'm one flesh with and adore, and my two sweet kids that I can't stop hugging and kissing...poor things are always being smothered by their mama. But I do wish I could freeze time now. I know I will look back at these child raising years as the best years....so I wish I could stop time. In a lot of ways I dread the silence that will come to our home once they are grown and gone even though I can barely wait for it to be just the two of us again, free to go places and have fun together more. See, I want it all. I want it both ways. I have to remind myself though that if I freeze time now (like I wished I could when I was 7 yrs. old) that I'd be missing out on future wonderful stages of life. Right? Ya, I keep telling myself that. I hope I get to be a grandma some day. I know that will be fun. I do look forward to growing old with my husband. Just not the growing old part so much.

It makes me want to slow down and focus on the important things, enjoy each moment, soak up the quality time, and ignore the not-so-important things that plague me. Life is incredibly short. Birthdays remind me of that. My life is but a moment.....just trying to savor that moment.

And so I start another year. Hello 35.

Noise

I'm so blessed. My life is so rich. I love the noise of my home and it brings a smile to my face. There is almost constant music in our home. In the midst of children being raised and the clatter that comes with that, there is also a constant; that constant is music. I don't know how other homes survive without music. If it's not the stereo playing, it's my children playing piano, singing at the tops of their lungs in their awkward juvenile voices, or banging on make-shift drum sets out of their toys.

But if it's not my children banging and clashing their music, it's my husband giving up an offering of worship on the piano or his guitar. Either way his voice comforts my soul and draws me into worship whether my heart was already there or not. After the kids go to bed and their musical noise has finally rested for the evening, my husband picks up where they leave off and his calm and musically correct notes soothe my chaotic mind. They are such the contrast and yet I love them both; the raw talent that lacks direction and the well trained musician who's gifts are as deep as his DNA.

No wonder my heart is often singing a melody the rare times I'm by myself....it's grown a custom to the sounds of my home. I wouldn't know how to get through a day without the noise.

if I wrote a Christmas letter.....

If I wrote a Christmas letter to sum up our year (but I didn't) it would say:

God is good.
God is very good.
God is good when we're happy.
God is good when we're sad.
God is good when we're trusting.
God is good when we doubt.
God is good when we're scared.
God is good when we worry.
God is good when we have plenty.
God is good when we have need.
God is good when we go without.
God is good when He gives to us.
God is good when He takes away.
God is good when we have to move.
God is good when leaving our home is sad.
God is good when He provides a place to go.
God is good when He gives us peace.
God is good when others bless us.
God is good when others judge us.
God is good when others talk poorly about us.
God is good when others hurt us.
God is good when others support us.
God is good when He provides faithful friends.
God is good when He gives us families that love us.
God is good when things seem unfair.
God is good when we are stressed.
God is good when we have no work.
God is good when we have a little work.
God is good when we have too much work.
God is good when He gives us wisdom.
God is good when we try to make right choices.
God is good when we fail.
God is good when we are unsure of the future.
God is good when He gives us convictions.
God is good when we fear.
God is good when He provides for our little ones.
God is good when our faith feels weak.
God is good when He holds us in His hands.
God is good when He gives us His strength.
God is good when we struggle.
God is good when we sin.
God is good when we suffer consequences.
God is good when He helps us forgive.
God is good when we strive our hardest.
God is good when we are humbled.
God is good when we do hard work.
God is good when we try to do our best.
God is good when we have no unemployment.
God is good when He IS our unemployment.
God is good when He prepares Heaven for us.
God is good when He comforts us.
God is good when we have to sacrifice.
God is good when He teaches us new truths.
God is good when He grows us spiritually.
God is good when we cry.
God is good when we hurt.
God is good when we hope.
God is good because He has always had a plan.
God is good because He follows His plan and not ours.
God is good because His plan works.
God is good when He rescues us from ourselves.
God is good when He came down to earth to die for our sins.
God is good even though we are not.
God is good at Christmas.
God is good always.
God is good.
God is very good.

What's Hanukkah?

Jon - "Mom, my calendar says that it's almost Hanukkah!"
Mom - "Yes, but we don't celebrate Hanukkah."
Jon - "We don't?"
Mom - "Nope." and then I went on to explain that everything he's studied about the Israelites (the Jews) in the Bible has to do with them waiting for a Messiah and everything that God took them through to lead them to the day that a Savior would come to save them and then the day finally came and Jesus was born in Bethlehem and they didn't believe that He WAS the Savior.

Jon had a look of shock on his face.

I continued....so Jesus grew up and He performed miracles to show the people that He was the Savior. We talked about all the miracles...walking on water, raising people from the dead, raising Himself from the dead.....

and then Jon said "and they still didn't believe that He WAS the Savior?"

Mom - "No son, they did not."

Jon choked back tears.

Mom - "So, they crucified Him."

Jon - "You mean the JEWS killed the Son of God!!!!!!!!!!" there was horror in his voice.

Mom - "Yes, sweetie, I'm sorry."

Jon - "I did not know this." still choking back tears.

Mom - "They don't celebrate Jesus' birthday (Christmas) and instead have their own holiday called Hannukah."

Jon - "So that's what Hannukah is. None of them believe in Jesus?"

Mom - "Actually, that's the good news, there are many people born into Jewish families who do hear the truth about Jesus being the Savior and they DO believe in Him! In fact, there are even groups of them and some call themselves Jews for Jesus! Isn't that exciting!?!"

Jon - "yes, but it's still a sad story and it's sad that they don't all know that He is the Savior."

(History is very sad sometimes but we are thankful that our lives are not bound by history. Despite our family heritages/religions by birth, we are free to trust in and follow Jesus. Praise God that Jesus came to save us all, the Jew and the Gentile! Heaven will be the true melting pot!)

Dating

Mom - "Can I keep you forever?" (I always ask my kids this to tease them.)
Emilee- "Yes, I always tell you yes, but I will have to go on a date eventually with my husband."
Mom- "Oh, okay."
Emilee- "But you can watch the kids."

Emilee's concept of "dating" is that it's what parents do to have alone time. =0) She plans on living with me forever but since she'll have to go on dates with her husband my consolation is that I'll get to babysit her kids while they are gone.

30 Day Giving Challenge Over

Well, the 30 Day Giving Challenge is over and I'm here to tell ya that I was really surprised at what I got out of it. I thought I was a really giving person until I had to come up with a way every day to give to someone else other than financially (since I'm not in a position to be able to give financially right now). Not being able to give financially was SUPER challenging. I had to think of ways I could be thoughtful, give of my time, give of my physical labor, give of something I already possess in my home, go out of my way, etc. It was tricky let me tell ya!

What I didn't expect to get out of this challenge was a wake-up call to how much God blesses me. Wow. I was definitely out given! My conclusion is that God can not be out-given! No way, no how. Just when I thought I was on a roll with giving, boom, He'd drop something big on me. Paying attention to when God blesses me gave me a new appreciate for how He does bless me and made me feel very loved by those in my life who choose to bless me
without strings attached,
out of the goodness of their own hearts,
without questions,
without asking,
just by the prodding of their own hearts.

I am so loved and incredibly rich.

Doing this project has changed me. It's given me a new eye for giving. I hope to continue looking for ways that I can bless others and I will continue to challenge myself to give in ways other than financially even when I can give financially.

growth

'God never places us in any position in which we can not grow. We may fancy that He does. We may fear we are so impeded by fretting, petty cares that we are gaining nothing; but when we are not sending any branches upward, we may be sending roots downward. Perhaps in the time of our humiliation, when everything seems a failure, we are making the best kind of progress.'

Elizabeth Prentiss

the peace that surpasses all understanding.

Enjoyed the afternoon with my sister, got to bathe my niece, made a double batch of granola, listening to my current favorite Christmas album- I love his voice for Christmas songs- while making 92 of these while I'm waiting for the snow storm to roll in tonight and excited to go tonight to listen to my husband lead worship at church. God is so good. It's the little moments that make me smile. All seems at peace. All seems right. How can that be? Only God can make peace out of chaos.

Talking with your kids....

I found this somewhere and thought it was good...even if we don't phrase the questions the same way.

• How are your devotions?
  
• What is God teaching you?
  
• In your own words, what is the gospel?
  
• Is there a specific sin you're aware of that you need my help defeating?
  
• Are you more aware of my encouragement or my criticism?
  
• What's daddy/mommy most passionate about?
  
• Do I act the same at church as I do when I'm at home?
  
• Are you aware of my love for you?
  
• Is there any way I've sinned against you that I've not repented of?
  
• Do you have any observations for me?
  
• How am I doing as a dad/mom?
  
• How have Sunday's sermons impacted you?
  
• Does my relationship with mom make you excited to be married?
  
• (On top of these things, with older kids, always inquire about their relationship with their friends and making sure God and His gospel are the center of those relationships. And I look for every opportunity to praise their mother and increase their appreciation and love for her.)

changing myself

In parenting I often find myself trying to hurry and change myself to be the example that I want to be for my kids while I still have a lot of influence over them before it's too late and they are grown and gone. If only changing myself was easier. Thankfully God is helping me but it sure seems slow and my kids growing up seems so fast.

Suffering and Trials

SUFFERING

God uses suffering to:
- reveal our character
- to humble us
- to draw us to Himself

TRIALS

God uses trials to:
- show us the strength of our faith
- humble us
- wean us from earthly things
- call us to a heavenly hope
- reveal what we really love
- teach us to value God and His blessings (grace)
- enable us to help others in trials
- develop greater strength for usefulness

worship

what an awesome morning of worship....love this song that my husband sang for worship this morning. Having our families with us was a blessing as well.

Jesus, Thank You
The mystery of the cross I cannot comprehend
The agonies of Calvary
You the perfect Holy One, crushed Your Son
Who drank the bitter cup reserved for me

Your blood has washed away my sin
Jesus, thank You
The Father’s wrath completely satisfied
Jesus, thank You
Once Your enemy, now seated at Your table
Jesus, thank You

By Your perfect sacrifice I’ve been brought near
Your enemy You’ve made Your friend
Pouring out the riches of Your glorious grace
Your mercy and Your kindness know no end

Lover of my soul
I want to live for You

What it means to be financially free.....

1. Financial freedom is realizing that true prosperity comes only from God.

2. Financial freedom is committing ourselves to God's purposes for money.

3. Financial freedom is recognizing and rejecting false financial concepts.

4. Financial freedom is responding to God's reproofs for wrong financial decisions.

5. Financial freedom is choosing to serve God rather than money.

6. Financial freedom is giving God tithes and offerings.

7. Financial freedom is keeping out of debt.

8. Financial freedom is learning how to abound and how to suffer need.

9. Financial freedom is having sales resistance.

10. Financial freedom is recognizing and rejecting swindlers...

stormy weather in seasons of our lives

I read this this morning and really liked it......

Have you noticed that every season has stormy scenes

as well as scenes of beauty and peace?

In our current season of autumn,

we often have very strong winds.

Winds strong enough to break tree limbs, blow the leaves from branches

and

dislodge anything that is not securely fastened down.

Yet, as in the photo above,

there are also times where there is colorful beauty mirrored in stillness.

Our seasons of life are like that too.

There are times we feel like everything is being torn from us,

the winds of unwelcome change come

sweeping relentlessly through our well ordered lives

and we look for hiding places, that elude us.

But God has promised,

His places of peace

and the beauty of His 'forever-with-us' Presence

is there if we just open our eyes to see.

Seasons come and seasons go...

every season is needful,

every season has purpose

and every season is ordered by the Lord.

2Co 4:8-10 "We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed;

we are perplexed, but not in despair;
persecuted, but not forsaken;

struck down, but not destroyed—
always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus,

that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. "

Reflecting on today....

What a busy day but a good one. It started with going out to MAF headquarters for their day of prayer. Daddy was asked to plan the worship music and lead it. It was a great morning reflecting on God's work around the world. We are always encouraged when we are with the MAF family. The music this morning really ministered to my soul and I'm always blessed to see my children at home there.

A verse from this morning that really stuck with me. Romans 12:12 "Rejoice in confident hope. Be patient in trouble and keep on praying."

It was also said during our prayer time today that at times we feel that what we do isn't important but that God is using us and does feel that what we are doing is important. Another shared that "God is never late." These were all thoughts that resonated with me.

I spent the afternoon working while the kids had some much needed "daddy time" and then we closed our day by being blessed with a meal from some friends (thank you dear friends! Your love is so appreciated!). God is good. He ministers to us through others just when we need it. May He find us faithful.

Home in a Jar

To help my kids deal with the changes that are going on in our lives right now, I came up with this little project idea. We collected things from around our house to help us remember it by and placed them in a canning jar. We collected rocks, a wood chip, Emilee's and Mom's favorite roses from our front yard, a piece of wood, a red fall leaf from our maple tree, a twig of leaves from our willow tree, and twig of our mini-Christmas tree in our front yard that we put Christmas lights around every year. It turned out so pretty and it was very therapeutic for Emilee especially knowing that our home was captured in a glass jar where she could look at it any time she wanted to.

We liked the results so much that we decided to do another one to remind us of Grandpa's cabin. Emilee collected wild flowers, a pine cone, sand from the volleyball court, a few pebbles, a fall leaf, a pine needle (lots of memories raking those up), a twig, and a piece of tree bark.

Both jars are now beautifully displayed on a shelf in our living room.

There's a small story about this idea.....when I was away at a women's conference last month, I took a much needed nap during the middle-of-the-day-free-time (something I NEVER get to do at home) and I fell into such a deep sleep. I started dreaming that I was in our house (although it looked different than our house of course, dreams never make sense that way) and the house was sinking. Everyone just carried on like normal including myself, having company over and everything. But as the house sank more and more it got harder and harder to get up the stairs to the upstairs and then it hit me that the house was sinking and we better get out. In the dream I frantically looked around for a way to take some part of my house with me to remember it by and I quickly cut a piece of wallpaper out of the wall so that I could frame it. Silly I know. I don't even have wallpaper in my real house but my sinking dream house did. Suddenly my roommate at the conference came in our room and I woke up. Immediately the idea to put things in a jar to take with us for Emilee's sake popped in my head....almost instantaneously with waking up. I'm glad these jars have been so theraputic for her.