sitting in the opposite chair

I've been reading Job lately and as I started reading, there was a section of verses that stood out to me where Job's friend Eliphaz begins his response to Job's lament.

"Behold, you have admonished many, and you have strengthened weak hands. Your words have helped the tottering to stand, And you have strengthened feeble knees. But now it has come to you, and you are impatient; It touches you, and you are dismayed. Is not your fear of God your confidence, and the integrity of your ways your hope?" Job 4:3-6

As I read it I pictured myself in the other seat of the counseling session instead of being the counselor, on the other side of the Bible study group instead of being the teacher, in the audience at women's retreat instead of the speaker.....on the other side of the phone call for encouragement... at the moment, I am the hurting caller.

I've been a pastor's wife for 11 years and it has been a life of giving to others and supporting others. My role has been encouraging others, counseling others, teaching others, and admonishing others. I've spent endless hours preparing and leading Bible study groups, writing a speech for women's retreat, and counseling women on my sofa. I've told the hurting to "just hang in there". I've encouraged the hopeless that hope still exists and that I'd hold onto their hope for them until they could hope again. I've convinced the bitter that bitterness has to be let go of. I've told the crying that it WILL get better. I've told the scared and the weary to just keep trusting God.

And now I find myself struggling at times to have patience. It's easy to think that if we go through really tough trials that we'll be brave and victorious through it never batting an eye at discourgement....but reality is that it's hard. It's hard to keep our heads high. Hard to keep having patience. Hard to keep picking yourself up by the bootstraps to press on. Is my hope challenged? No. Has my faith been weakened? No. I've been shown how weak my faith can be and it's been strengthened. The truths of everything I've known in my past to be true are still true. Tested and true.

But I did feel admonished by this section of Job....because our sinful minds are not capable of keeping even quick fleeting thoughts of doubt away. It's my turn now and I have to have patience. I have to stay strong and not be dismayed. I have to let my fear of a powerful and mighty God be my confidence. I will let the integrity of my ways be my hope.

The day after I read this passage, my sister called me and said "hey, I've been reading Job lately and I read this one section that made me think of you!" She began to read it to me over the phone. This is exactly the section she read and as I listened to her voice, my heart smiled.

"Behold, you have admonished many, and you have strengthened weak hands. Your words have helped the tottering to stand, And you have strengthened feeble knees. But now it has come to you, and you are impatient; It touches you, and you are dismayed. Is not your fear of God your confidence, and the integrity of your ways your hope?" Job 4:3-6

Lazy? Or just a ......

I often appeal to my children's desires to grow up to be a responsible man and woman when I'm training them about life responsibilities. Emilee was getting one of these such lectures from Mom one day concerning laziness in light of some recent lazy issues Emilee was having.

I talked about taking care of the things God has given us, cleaning up after ourselves, and then went on to appeal to her desire to be a wife and mom some day. I described a mother who works hard to keep her house clean, to train her children, to make healthy meals for her family, who welcomes her husband home to a house that is orderly and well taken care of with children that are presentable and a warm meal on the table. Emilee nods knowingly that I'm always encouraging her to build these character qualities into her life now.

I then described the woman who doesn't care for her home, who doesn't clean it, who doesn't train her children, who is selfish and does what she wants to do all day and when her husband gets home the house is a mess, there is no where to sit down to rest from his hard working day, he is hungry and there is no warm meal prepared for him, the children are messy and bickering (well, sometimes they are bickering in the above scenario as well, LOL). As I describe this woman, turmoil is clearly expressed on Emilee's face and she stares intently at me with her big eyes, hanging on every word I say with agony on her brow. Then I ask her.....

"What would you call this woman?"

In pure disgust she yells, "A RAT!"

I burst out laughing! I was looking for the word "lazy" but okay...some may say a rat. Oh my it took quite some time to get my laughter under control. She looked at me puzzled at my reaction.

BEEP

Emilee- "Mom, want to hear a funny joke with a bad word in it?"
Mom - "It has a bad word in it?!?!?!" (trying to figure out where she's heard a joke with a bad word in it!)
Emilee- "Ya, but don't worry, I won't say the bad word, I'll just say "BEEP" for the bad word. "

and that's supposed to make me feel better?

She told the joke and it was actually something minor she had heard...it wasn't really a joke, it was a conversation...and the "bad" word was "stupid" but don't worry, she didn't say it, she faithfully said "BEEP" every time the word stupid came up.

Fiona, our niece

December 29th Photo
(in her Christmas dress that matches Emilee's)

Christmas Hair - Star Over Bethlehem

December 28th Photo

thank you just doesn't seem enough

My mom dreamt the other night that I made a big huge banner and hung it across my garage that said

THANK YOU EVERYONE!

No, I'm not going to make a huge banner and hang it on my house but consider this post as my banner. Thank you to everyone who blessed our struggling family this year with your generosity. Thank you to those who gave us little gifts stuffed in cards, gifts left on our doorstep to be opened Christmas morning, the rose left on our porch, the envelope of money left on our doorstep, the gift cards that came in the mail, the grocery cards that were put into Christmas cards. All of it! Thank you to the ones that remain anonymous...whoever you are, thank you. You are angels, doing the work of God, blessing our family. Thank you to the family that came and sang Christmas Carols on our porch. Thank you to the clients that blessed us with a turkey. Thank you to the neighbor that has brought bags of groceries over. Thank you to the old friend that stopped by with gift cards. Thank you to the family members that felt compelled to send us money. Thank you to our neighbors who blessed us with grocery cards, restaurant cards, and gifts for us and the children. Thank you to the strangers we've never met and thank you to the old friends and new friends, and the family members near and far. Thank you again to the ones that we've sent thank you cards to, and thank you to the ones who have ding-dong-ditched us and we have no clue who you are.

We are overwhelmed with your love. Humbled by your generosity. Amazed at the outpouring of love. Strengthened by your prayers and our faith deepened by a God who takes care of us. You have given out of love and generosity, not because you had to, not because you know in great detail our situation, not because you know every detail about our financial hardship, not because you've judged us and we measured up...but because you are awesome and you clearly love us. We love you back! We hope we can do the same for all of you some day if you need us to.

I hope that some of the anonymous people that have given to us are reading this post so that they know how grateful we are. It's hard not being able to express our gratitude so this is probably our best chance at reaching all of you.

We have not gone without groceries. We are still able to pay our basic bills.
Thank you.

This was clearly the BEST Christmas ever! I don't think I've cried so many "happy tears" in my life. Just when I think our hearts can't possibly swell up with more love, I'm left astonished again at yet another act of love and generosity.

Momma and Kids

December 27th Photo
(taken on my birthday)

Christmas Morning Breakfast

December 26th Photo
(egg, cheese, and bacon croissant sandwiches)

Wii were shocked

December 25th Photo

birthday cake (pumpkin pie)

December 24th Photo

(no that's not an Indian head-dress I'm wearing, it's actually feathers on the wall behind me from a turkey my dad shot)

shiney red guitar

December 23rd Photo

(A good looking guy I know leading the worship band. This group loves to rock out and we love rockin out with them.)

our family in front of our tree

December 22nd Photo

Nightgown Reminisce

December 21st Photo

(left to right: Aunt Annie, Aunt Katie, Momma, Uncle Thomas
Growing up, our mom made us nightgowns several times at Christmas)

Little House on the Prairie Nightgown

December 20th Photo

(homemade nightgowns made by Gram for Em and her My Twin doll)

Christmas Cousins

December 19th Photo

Emilee's New Tea Cup

December 18th Photo

(a cup from a special tea party with Gram and Granma Marie)

Wii Wish You a Merry Christmas

Wii are having a wonderful Christmas morning. Wii are so blessed by all the gifts others have given us. Wii have been playing with all the neat toys and games. Wii are especially spoiled by our grandparents. They love us so much and Wii love them back so much. Emilee has been playing her new guitar and Jon is loving his new electric drum set, both from Grandpa and Gram. They are both trying to get the hang of their new roller blades from Grandpa Dave and Grandma Marie. Granpa and Granma A. are teaching us how to bowl, jet ski, & play baseball and Wii are really fast learners. Wii can't believe how many gifts were under our tree this year! THANK YOU family and friends.

Wii love Christmas and Wii thank everyone that blessed us this Christmas with gifts.

Hello 35

I'm back. The computer has been healed thanks to husband having a day off to work on it for me. It could use a little more memory but hey, so could I. All in good time right. Oh, and I see that blogger is telling me that I'm almost out of space on this account so I'm guessing that means I'll have to start yet another account. Sigh. I should have asked for a wordpress blog for my birthday, huh?

So, I woke up to my children bringing me birthday cards and singing Happy Birthday to me. Delightful. My husband's card is always found on my pillow on the morning of my birthday which I love because the morning is about the only unbusy part of my birthday. All morning long I get to cherish his written words that always bring tears to my eyes. He really is gifted at picking out cards. Maybe it's the artistic side of him, but he has a great way with words. He writes me the most meaningful letters.

Then my husband took me out to breakfast just the two of us. Precious and cherished....I think that's only the 3rd time we've been on a date in the last 7 months. Priceless, yes. We ran a few last minute errands, ran off to a Christmas Eve Service, and then headed to my parents for our traditional German dinner (that my mom always makes so well, YUM) and birthday gifts. My family that was able to attend dinner went around the table and each prayed for me and thanked God for me. That was really sweet and I'll always remember that. My family and friends have all said such nice things about me today. Why don't I see me as good as they see me?

So, it was a busy day but a good one. I received so many wonderful birthday phone calls and a shocking amount of facebook birthday wishes.

Here's one of my first baby pictures. Pre-ultra-sound of course. Isn't my mom beautiful and my dad so handsome? My mom was due with me the first few days of December but her doctor thought I'd be born before Thanksgiving. He was a great doctor but a little off on this one.

I haven't handled getting older past 29 very well at all. When I was turning 30 I about had a melt down. My friends (who were all older than me) thought my melt down was hilarious and thought it would be funny to throw me a funeral surprise party. They are crazy that way. It did make me laugh though and helped me get through the frustration of getting older. I realized tonight that I get this from my dad. He hates getting older too. We are a lot alike and that's for sure one thing we have in common. I'll never forget that funeral at 30. And now I can't even believe I'm 35. Excuse me while I have my own self-focused moment here and stomp my foot.

When I was 7 years old I thought it was the best age to be and the best part of life and so I wanted to stay 7 for the rest of my life. I'm glad that I didn't get my wish because I would have missed out on so many wonderful things....especially the man I'm one flesh with and adore, and my two sweet kids that I can't stop hugging and kissing...poor things are always being smothered by their mama. But I do wish I could freeze time now. I know I will look back at these child raising years as the best years....so I wish I could stop time. In a lot of ways I dread the silence that will come to our home once they are grown and gone even though I can barely wait for it to be just the two of us again, free to go places and have fun together more. See, I want it all. I want it both ways. I have to remind myself though that if I freeze time now (like I wished I could when I was 7 yrs. old) that I'd be missing out on future wonderful stages of life. Right? Ya, I keep telling myself that. I hope I get to be a grandma some day. I know that will be fun. I do look forward to growing old with my husband. Just not the growing old part so much.

It makes me want to slow down and focus on the important things, enjoy each moment, soak up the quality time, and ignore the not-so-important things that plague me. Life is incredibly short. Birthdays remind me of that. My life is but a moment.....just trying to savor that moment.

And so I start another year. Hello 35.

Christmas Blogging Break

I'm taking an abrupt break. Life issues have overwhelmed me and my computer isn't working so great...and my computer guy doesn't have time to fix it. I'll be working the next few days as well so I don't really have time anyway. I will try to get caught up here later. My email isn't working so well either so if you need to reach me you best call.

Oh and there won't be a family Christmas picture either. That didn't go so well.

May you all have a wonderful Christmas celebrating the birth of our King.

Curlformers

We've been enjoying these curlformers lately. Curling Emilee's very straight hair is no easy task. Any time I curl her hair with a curling iron it won't curl. Aside from sleeping with curlers we haven't been able to get day time curling to hold. Now with these we are able to.

They actually are soft enough to sleep in and Emilee gets even better curls when she sleeps in them. But it's nice that she doesn't have to sleep in them to get curls. Here she is after I've taken a few out. Here she is after a long day and still got curls.I did put them in my own hair and was surprised how well it worked on my hair as well.

Wanna see how it works?



Here are my tips for curlformers:

-They are ONLY available at Sally Beauty Supply.

-If you have really long hair like Emilee, it works best to start about half way down the piece of hair and slide the curler towards the scalp while pull the hair out the other end. Otherwise the hair gets jammed inside the curler and it's too hard to pull out.

-For Emilee's length of hair we have the extra long and wide curlformers.

-It doesn't work with dry hair.

-Use gel.

-If doing day time curling just evenly dampen hair with a spray bottle. Then put gel in.

-The hair has to completely dry. Using a hair blow dryer helps but be sure to leave them in for a couple of hours. Emilee keeps them in while she does her school work in the morning.

-Use small pieces of hair. If you use too big of pieces it takes longer for the hair to dry.

-Alternate the colors because they curl the opposite directions of each other giving you a mix of directional curls.

-You can use curlformers for perming as well.